College professor Flirting for real? Post a Reply | Views: 1103 | Started By: Crush4ever | Replies: 3 I am wondering if one of my college professors has been flirting with me – I think he is, but I haven’t been able to figure out if it’s harmless flirting to stroke his ego, or if he’s lusting after me to the point of sleeping with me if I agreed. WARNING: if you intend to moralize based on age difference, power differential or marital status, PLEASE don’t respond. I am interested in the experience of other men and women who know about men’s flirting behaviors more than I do. So, I am 25, he’s in his late 30s. No problem there, at least for me. I have noticed him checking me out and looking over someone else’s shoulder after class, from his desk, as I was getting ready to leave. When I was walking towards the library once, I spotted him from a pretty long distance, he seemed to be leaving. I went to the ladies’ room, then walked to where he had been…and then he walked right by me and said hi (he had obviously waited there). We had a quick talk where I asked about a class I’d missed, it was very polite, but we had good chemistry. Then I asked for help with a presentation for his class, he offered to help me find the material since I couldn’t from my computer at home. So, after class, we went to his office…when we were walking there, this kid had tagged along and kept trying to make conversation…He barely answered, I didn’t say a word either. I had the feeling that the professor thought the kid was “intruding”…When we were looking at the material in his office, he ran across a text and said “Oh, look at this, I hadn’t even seen it!” (it was about an author we are currently studying. It had a really racy poem on the cover, that he started reading (basically, about sexual desire and adultery… “sensual fires” smothering and having to be kept under control). I said it was interesting, but that was it. He didn’t follow up on the discussion. But he had obviously seen that before!! He went straight to the page that had it… In another conversation in his office (small campus, students do this all the time), we were talking about other professors’ exam styles, he said something about how he did it and added, with a smile:” I guess I don’t play by the rules…”. I never know what to say to things like these, because they sound like he’s dropping hints, but I can never talk back. Another day, he was explaining to me the difficulty between what some authors wanted to do with their language, and what they actually could do with it…then he said “It’s one of those things…you can dream about it, but you can’t have it…”. It was the intonation of his voice that gave it away and made me suspicious. I was taking notes at the time (on his desk, it was during the office visit), so I wasn’t looking at him…But it sounded out of place with what he was explaining. Again, I couldn’t talk back! Then, there was the staring during the exam…I caught him blatantly staring at me 3 times. The first one, I stared back but he just kept going…I couldn’t! I felt shy, so I looked down…But it lasted for about 5 seconds, which I think is a lot longer than a look should last. There wasn’t anyone sitting next to me, so he wasn’t thinking I’d cheat, either! Sorry this is so long, but here is my question…Doesn’t this seem like heavy-duty flirting, instead of it being just something that would stroke an older man’s ego (he obviously finds me attractive, that much I know for sure – not because I’m conceited, but because of how he looks at me). How do I know if he actually wants to take things to the next level?? I don’t know how to go about it. P.S.: Again, advice about the case only, PLEASE! I don’t need to hear about how wrong and risky and awful it would be.

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wow that's really strange. i mean...its just weird for anybody to be doing those things...gives a kind of stalker-ish vibe from the guy...but, it really does sound like flirting. A little bit extreme...talking about those sexual things. Responded: Perrikilzer   From what I have experienced in the past men in higher positions tend to think you are beneath them and possibly not as smart as they are soooo therefore making you the target for a good and easy piece of as*... beware girlfriend!!!!! Responded: kymberzzz   Iteresting, I think when he starts saying suggestive things you should try going along with the flow and see what happens- to see if you get the vibe that he's seroius about  his flirting. Although, I think you should wait for him to take it to the next level himself( maybe, he'll do so if you show more interest) Responded: Steph