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Views: 411 | Started By: Guest | Replies: 6
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well hello my name is jim i have been coming to this forum for awhile now and just reading but now i have a reason to post .the main reason i am even posting is because i need some where to vent ! .So this is what happened my nightmare started 2 weeks ago on friday evening my working around the house and my girlfriend comes out and tells that she was going to walk down about 4 blocks to some girlfriends apartment this was about 7 in the evening she said bye and left ,then later that night she still didnt come home and worst of all i didnt even know where this other girl lived. so i had no place to look .so the next morning still no girlfriend and so i call her job to see if they had heard from her and sure enough they did. she called in and asked someone to work her shift,this was only her 4th day of work which made no since and the next time anyone heard anything was tues afternoon . when she finally called me so during this whole weekend of her missing and not knowing anything.i was a wreck just turned inside out and i spent all sat and sun going threw all of her computer and her e-mail accounts and i found some yahoo instant messages between her and a guy in grand rapids michigan as i read more it turns out that he was leaving there on thursday morning and driving out here to northern california to meet her face to face thats over 2200 miles one way 30 +hours of driving . so to make a long story longer she just up and leaves they go to reno get married and head back to michigan.whats gets me is she only has been chatting with this guy for 4 weeks and with out warning, no i am not happy, things got to change ,i dont like where were headed .nothing as far as i new everything was perfect and heres the sad part.i am 30 years old she is 29 and we have been together for 15 YEARS. not just been together but LIVED together since 9th grade and we never had any fights no nothing i just thought i was the luckyest guy in the world.we were lovers and friends all in one. dam i am going to miss her she was my best friend .we always would say to each other you know your my best friend and when i did get to talk to her.i asked her why she left and her answer was she didnt know its something in life that she did but wasnt sure why . this whole thing has put me on a emotional roller coaster that i wouldnt wish on my worst enemy.i just wish she knew how many peoples lives she and i have touched and how bad this has devestated so many people around us. everyone keeps telling me to hang in there and to hold my head up .but its hard i have got very little sleep in these last 2 weeks and lost most of my desire to eat but i just keep trying to move on .the only thing that i think that has got me this far is the fact that i can sit here and say that in the 15 years that we have shared I HAVE NEVER CHEATED ON HER,I HAVE NEVER LAID A HAND ON HER,AND I HAVE NEVER CALLED HER OUT OF HER NAME, NEVER NOT ONE SINGLE TIME . of any of the above and i know that when i do try to go to bed i just keep telling my self that and i also know that she is the one who has to live with her self and the decisions she has made . well sorry for making this so long and hope it didnt bother anyone its just that i dont have very many good friends and the ones i do have its hard for me to talk to them .plus i never really seen the need to have a bunch of friends because she was my best friend or so i thought .if you want to comment thats cool if not thats fine too. i just needed some where or place to vent, before i lose it. thanks for you time and space jim
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thanks everyone for all the support its nice to know that people are there when you need them .i new this was the right place to post! as for myself im still having a hard time dealing with this i am getting alittle more sleep,but not all that i should. as you can tell by the time im posting this at 3:33 .Im just taking this one day at a time .this whole story justkeeps getting more and more crazy .if she only knew the pain and hurt she has caused me and my family she was like a daughter to my mom and dad .now my parents have to go and pay to have her taken out of there will and ever since she moved in 15 years ago my mother has taken a life insurance policy out for her now she has to cancel that also .all them years wasted. I found out that she has cheated on me a few times which gets me sad upset mad then frustrated(sp) all because i thought there was no problems at all of any kind between us . i made it a point just to sit her down every now and then and ask her if everything was ok and if she was alright and she would give me a big hug and kiss and smile and say everything was fine. i still talk to her threw e-mail off and on and i asked her why and the only answer i still get is she doesnt know its just something in life she had to do GRRR !!! thats not a answer to me .where did i /we go wrong . i have asked her to call me cause there is some real important ? i have to ask her but she wont do it .i now know she will never be back and i try not to judge other women by this but dam its going to be real tough to trust another woman again .if she only knew when this first started .i would drive around to the apartments she said she was going to just to look around. and it got to the point that everywhere i looked i would see her in cars passing by or walking down the street even though it wasnt her .some how i think i just would hope it would be her . i guess i will be waiting for the rest of my life for them answers to my questions and alicia if you ever read this i wish you knew how many peoples lives you have devestated and turned inside out with this B.S you have pulled .i wish you could have been here watching my mom who loved you like a daughter crying to me tears just running down her face asking me why and all i could do was hug her back and tell her that i had no idea why someone we loved so much would do this to us with no warning signs of any kind.do you know she now has to go and take back all the christmas presents she bought you .and the last ting i want you to remember was the 2 hardest parts about all of this was 1 NOT KNOWING ANYTHING nothing we didnt even know if you were alive NOTHING ALICIA and 2 . was sitting there watching my DAD CRY worried and scared for you . that was the most painful thing i ever saw in my entire life . thanks for listening jim
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