Habitual Liar. Advice please, Im Kinda Stuck Post a Reply | Views: 921 | Started By: Sera | Replies: 5 I've spent a long time with a guy who consistently lies about past and gets mad when confronted.  Today I read a book that described him to a "T" - he's what they call a sociopath; charming, polished, self absorbed, places blame on mishaps on everyone but himself, secretive.... two weeks ago I told him to drop dead as I was so stunned by yet another deception after he promised no more mind games - I was in love with him and know he loved me, but, what's with the inconsistent stories and lying that he lies - I am having such a hard time getting over him and feel infuriated at what we could have had as he led me to believe (by words and actions) that I was his life partners, etc., but I can no longer look the other way when he lies and feel so deceived and hurt and so, so much hatred - it's hard to get on with my life.  I've checked out personal ads and selected a few to quit focusing on him and realize that it's over.  Have any of you ever been with a habitual liar? What'd you do?

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Quote:  two weeks ago I told him to drop dead as I was so stunned by yet another deception after he promised no more mind games i dont really have any tips, but i think you did the right thing in breaking up with him. if you had gotten even more involved, the lying would just hurt you even more down the road. Responded: Pen Name   Well, the situation is quite clear. If he lies to you – he does not trust you,  if he does not trust you – he does not love you. You know, the best way to “get over him” is to forget him. You probably asked yourself many times why he is doing that, what is going to become out of all this, if you have any future at all, etc. But you couldn’t find right answers to these questions. Why? Try the following: take a blank sheet of paper, try to put down all your secret thoughts, doubts about him or whatever – all that troubles you at the moment. Don’t hesitate to be frank with yourself. Do it every day until you realize what’s important and what’s minor to you. In several weeks take your notes and reread them carefully. You’ll see that all you wrote is so insignificant, what you thought was important is inessential and is not worth worrying about any more... It’ll help you to get him outt of your mind. There are so many things in life worth loving. Switch over to something or somebody else. Remember: time cures. Take care,  J Responded: Guest    I have been there and am still there. Don't know how long you have been with him. My guy and I were together for a year and a half when I kicked him out for his lies and deceptions. But we could never get away from each other, one of us always called the other for the next three years, we both had other people in and out of our lives but nothing we were interested in making last. Now we have been back together for almost a year. He still lies about the most stupid shit. Really inconsequential stuff. I still feel like he hides things from me, but I realize most of his lies are to hide from himself, he's ashamed of some of his foolish actions. I am a in your face honest person and have a hard time relating to a liar. I love him and there is no doubt he loves me so our compromise is me calling him out on his lies and then giving him time to feel secure enough to admit them. Once he realizes I will only be angry or upset then get over it, not leave him or punish him he usually lets it all out and apologizes. So my advice is do some deep soul searching and figure out if you love him enough to make it work or if you need the security of knowing everything in a relationship. It's very hard to deal with but in my case very worth it. Responded: free 2 think   The worst thing in the world is to feel like you've been lied to and manipulated. When someone lies to you, for whatever reason, and gets away with it, they believe they can do it to you all the time. I was lied to constantly by my ex-boyfriend; about big and little things, and I couldn't understand why he would lie about these stupid little things. I think, sadly, lying comes easier than the truth for some people, and if they do it once, they'll do it again. Responded: Suzie   What do you do?  Head for the hills!  Don't look back.  I just left my little liar today and it was really sad, but he didn't love me enough to be honest with me and that is all there is to tell.   He is sad and crying...funny how the tables turn when you take a stand for yourself and what you believe in.  He was given three strikes and he's out, next batter.  I am convinced that I am special enough to deserve someone who will be honest with me.  Think about what you deserve and hold out for nothing less.  You get what you stand for....... Responded: Guest