My honest opinion? I think you need to just TELL him what to do.
A kiss asked and received is just as valuable as a kiss spontaneously given... IF YOU LET IT BE THAT WAY.
Here's what I want to ask you. What do you truly NEED? Do you need his initiative? his passion? to be kissed? to be aroused? figure that out. THEN you have to be willing to ask for your needs to be filled and NOT worry about HOW they are being filled. By that I mean if you your need is for passion and intimacy, then the fact that you have to ask for it, even though he complies willingly, is irrelevent. You're need is being filled.
I don't think you are pushy to tell him, for example, "kiss me here really slow I like that a lot..."
I don't think you're pushy at all... you deserve to have your needs met, and you deserve to have a passionate, intimate, emotionally available lover. Don't be afraid to ask for what you deserve!