Pages:     1   2   3   4    Next  

	A conjecture both deep and profound Is whether a circle is round. In a paper of Erdös Written in Kurdish A counterexample is found.   Cast you Vote:
	Comments: 0 | Read or Post your comment | Rating: 0.00 based on 0 votes

 

Approximately ten excuses for not doing homework: I accidentally divided by zero and my paper burst into flames. I could only get arbitrarily close to my textbook. I couldn't actually reach it. I have the proof, but there isn't room to write it in this margin. I was watching the World Series and got tied up trying to prove that it converged. I have a solar powered calculator and it was cloudy. I locked the paper in my trunk but a four-dimensional dog got in and ate it. I couldn't figure out whether I am the square of negative one or I am the square root of negative one. I took time out to snack on a doughnut and a cup of coffee, and then I spent the rest of the night trying to figure which one to dunk. I could have sworn I put the homework inside a Klein bottle, but this morning I couldn't find it.   Cast you Vote:

Comments: 0 | Read or Post your comment | Rating: 0.00 based on 0 votes

 

After Receiving an Invitation to a Mathematicians' Ball: Augustin Louis Cauchy said he surely will managed to integrate well with everyone. David Hilbert was afraid he will be pretty spaced out for most of the party. Paul Erdös asked: "Are epsilons invited too?" John Forbes Nash insisted on playing n-person zero sum games. Zeno of Elea said he will come with two friends - Achilles and the tortoise. Bertrand Russell was wondering: "If the cook only cooks for the guests, who cooks for the cook?" Kurt Gödel insisted that the invitation is incomplete and never will be.   Cast you Vote:

Comments: 0 | Read or Post your comment | Rating: 0.00 based on 0 votes

 

Pick-Up Lines to use on Mathematics Chicks You fascinate me more than the Fundamental Theorem of Calculus. Are you a differentiable function? Because I'd like to be tangent to your curves! You and I would add up better than a Riemann sum. My love for you is a monotonic increasing function of time. Wanna come back to my room and see my copy of Euclid's "Elements"? I am equivalent to the Empty Set when you are not with me.   Cast you Vote:

Comments: 0 | Read or Post your comment | Rating: 0.00 based on 0 votes

 

The Dictionary: what mathematics professors say and what they mean by it Clearly: I don't want to write down all the "in-between" steps. Trivial: If I have to show you how to do this, you're in the wrong class. It can easily be shown: No more than four hours are needed to prove it. Check for yourself: This is the boring part of the proof, so you can do it on your own time. Hint: The hardest of several possible ways to do a proof. Brute force: Four special cases, three counting arguments and two long inductions. Elegant proof: Requires no previous knowledge of the subject matter and is less than ten lines long. Similarly: At least one line of the proof of this case is the same as before. Two line proof: I'll leave out everything but the conclusion, you can't question 'em if you can't see 'em. Briefly: I'm running out of time, so I'll just write and talk faster. Proceed formally: Manipulate symbols by the rules without any hint of their true meaning. Proof omitted: Trust me, It's true.   Cast you Vote:

Comments: 0 | Read or Post your comment | Rating: 0.00 based on 0 votes

 

Mathematics Revisited Life is complex. It has real and imaginary components. What keeps a square from moving? Square roots, of course. The law of the excluded middle either rules or does not rule. In the topological hell the beer is packed in Klein's bottles. To a mathematician, real life is a special case. I heard that parallel lines actually do meet, but they are very discrete. In modern mathematics, algebra has become so important that numbers will soon only have symbolic meaning. Some say the pope is the greatest cardinal. But others insist this cannot be so, as every pope has a successor.   Cast you Vote:

Comments: 0 | Read or Post your comment | Rating: 0.00 based on 0 votes

 

How mathematicians do it... Combinatorists do it as many ways as they can. Combinatorists do it discretely. (Logicians do it) or [not (logicians do it)]. Logicians do it by symbolic manipulation. Algebraists do it in groups. Algebraists do it in a ring. Algebraists do it in a field. Analysts do it continuously. Real analysts do it almost everywhere. Pure mathematicians do it rigorously. Topologists do it openly. Topologists do it on rubber sheets. Dynamicists do it chaotically. Mathematicians do it forever if they can do one and can do one more. Cantor did it diagonally. Fermat tried to do it in the margin, but couldn't fit it in. Galois did it the night before. Möbius always does it on the same side. Markov does it in chains. Newton did it standing on the shoulders of giants. Turing did it but couldn't decide if he'd finished.   Cast you Vote:

Comments: 0 | Read or Post your comment | Rating: 0.00 based on 0 votes

 

You Might Be a Mathematician if... you are fascinated by the equation . you know by heart the first fifty digits of . you have tried to prove Fermat's Last Theorem. you know ten ways to prove Pythagoras' Theorem. your telephone number is the sum of two prime numbers. you have calculated that the World Series actually diverges. you are sure that differential equations are a very useful tool. you comment to your wife that her straight hair is nice and parallel. when you say to a car dealer "I'll take the red car or the blue one" you must add "but not both of them."   Cast you Vote:

Comments: 0 | Read or Post your comment | Rating: 0.00 based on 0 votes

 

How many mathematicians does it take to change a light bulb? None. It's left to the reader as an exercise. None. The answer is intuitively obvious. One. He gives it to four programmers, thereby simplifying the problem to a previous question. How many numerical analysts does it take to change a light bulb? 3.9967 (after six iterations). How many mathematical logicians does it take to change a light bulb? None. They can't do it, but they can easily prove that it can be done. How many classical geometers does it take to change a light bulb? None. You can't do it with a straight edge and a compass. How many analysts does it take to change a light bulb? Three. One to prove existence, one to prove uniqueness and one to derive a nonconstructive algorithm to do it. How many number theorists does it take to change a light bulb? I don't know the exact number, but I am sure it must be some rather elegant prime.   Cast you Vote:

Comments: 0 | Read or Post your comment | Rating: 0.00 based on 0 votes

 

	A mathematician wandered home at 3 AM. His wife became very upset, telling him, "You're late! You said you'd be home by 11:45!" The mathematician replied, "I'm right on time. I said I'd be home by a quarter of twelve."   Cast you Vote:
	Comments: 0 | Read or Post your comment | Rating: 0.00 based on 0 votes

 

  Pages:     1   2   3   4    Next