|
Pages: 1 2 Next
-
|
Doctor: " id you take the patient's temperature?"
Nurse: "No. Is it missing?"
|
|
|
Comments: 0 | Read or Post your comment | Rating: 0.00 based on 0 votes
|
-
|
Doctor: "Nurse, how is that little boy doing, the one who swallowed ten quarters?"
Nurse: "No change yet."
|
|
|
Comments: 0 | Read or Post your comment | Rating: 0.00 based on 0 votes
|
-
|
Three nurses went to heaven, and were awaiting their turn with St. Peter to plead their case to enter the pearly gates.
The first nurse said, "I worked in an emergency room. We tried our best to help patients, even though occasionally we did lose one. I think I deserve to go to heaven." St. Peter looks at her file and admits her to heaven.
The second nurse says, "I worked in an operating room. It's a very high stress environment and we do our best. Sometimes the patients are too sick and we lose them, but overall we try very hard." St. Peter looks at her file and admits her to heaven.
The third nurse says, "I was a case manager for an HMO."
St. Peter looks at her file. He pulls out a calculator and starts punching away at it furiously, constantly going back to the nurse's file. After a few minutes St. Peter looks up, smiles, and says, "Congratulations! You've been admitted to heaven ... for five days!"
|
|
|
Comments: 0 | Read or Post your comment | Rating: 0.00 based on 0 votes
|
-
|
Harry was in the hospital. He was an old man. From time to time the young nurse came in and said in a patronising tone, "And how are we doing this morning?"
Well, this is a story of revenge. Harry had received breakfast, and pulled the juice off the tray, and put it on his stand. He had been given a urine bottle to fill. The juice was apple juice. You know where the juice went.
The nurse came in, picked up the urine bottle and said, "It seems we are a little cloudy today..." At this, Harry snatched the bottle out of her hand, drinked its contents, saying, "Well, I'll run it through again, maybe I can filter it better this time."
|
|
|
Comments: 0 | Read or Post your comment | Rating: 0.00 based on 0 votes
|
-
|
What's the difference between a surgeon and a puppy?
If you put a puppy in a room by itself for an hour, it'll probably stop whining.
|
|
|
Comments: 0 | Read or Post your comment | Rating: 0.00 based on 0 votes
|
-
|
Interns think of God, residents pray to God, doctors talk to God, nurses ARE God.
|
|
|
Comments: 0 | Read or Post your comment | Rating: 0.00 based on 0 votes
|
-
|
What's the difference between a nurse and a nun?
A nun only serves one God.
|
|
|
Comments: 0 | Read or Post your comment | Rating: 0.00 based on 0 votes
|
-
|
A nurse was showing some student nurses through the hospital. "This will be the most hazardous section in the hospital for you. The men on this floor are almost well."
|
|
|
Comments: 0 | Read or Post your comment | Rating: 0.00 based on 0 votes
|
-
|
A doctor is going round the ward with a nurse and they come to the first bed where the chap is laying half dead.
"id you give this man two tablets every eight hours?" asks the doctor.
"Oh, no," replies the nurse, "I gave him eight tablets every two hours!"
At the next bed the next patient also appears half dead.
"Nurse, did you give this man one tablet every twelve hours?"
"Oops, I gave him twelve tablets every one hour," replies the nurse.
Unfortunately at the next bed the patient is well and truly deceased, not an ounce of life. "Nurse," asks the doctor, "did you prick his boil?"
"OH MY GOODNESS!" replies the nurse.
|
|
|
Comments: 0 | Read or Post your comment | Rating: 0.00 based on 0 votes
|
-
|
The nurse who can smile when things go wrong is probably going off duty.
|
|
|
Comments: 0 | Read or Post your comment | Rating: 0.00 based on 0 votes
|
Pages: 1 2 Next
All Categories:
|
