|
Pages: 1 2 3 Next
-
|
How many salespeople does it take to change a light bulb?
None. "You don't need a new light bulb - you need to upgrade your socket to the newest version."
Just one, but it'll take technical support weeks to sort out the mess left behind.
Four. One to change the bulb and three to pull the chair out from under him.
|
|
|
Comments: 0 | Read or Post your comment | Rating: 0.00 based on 0 votes
|
-
|
A salesman walking along the beach found a bottle. When he rubbed it, lo and behold, a genie appeared.
"I will grant you three wishes," announced the genie. "But since Satan still hates me, for every wish you make, your rival gets the wish as well - only double."
The salesman thought about this for a while. "For my first wish, I would like ten million dollars," he announced.
Instantly the genie gave him a Swiss bank account number and assured the man that $10,000,000 had been deposited. "But your rival has just received $20,000,000," the genie said.
"I've always wanted a Ferrari," the salesman said.
Instantly a Ferrari appeared. "But your rival has just received two Ferraris," the genie said. "And what is your last wish?"
"Well," said the salesman, "I've always wanted to donate a kidney for transplant."
|
|
|
Comments: 0 | Read or Post your comment | Rating: 0.00 based on 0 votes
|
-
|
How do salespeople traditionally greet each other?
"Hi. Nice to meet you. I'm better than you."
|
|
|
Comments: 0 | Read or Post your comment | Rating: 0.00 based on 0 votes
|
-
|
When a young salesman met his untimely end, he was informed that he had a choice about where he would spend his eternity: Heaven or Hell. He was allowed to visit both places, and then make his decision afterwards.
"I'll see Heaven first," said the salesman, and an angel led through the gates on a private tour. Inside it was very peaceful and serene, and all the people there were playing harps and eating grapes. It looked very nice, but the salesman was not about to make a decision that could very well condemn him to a life of musical produce.
"Can I see Hell now?" he asked. The angel pointed him to the elevator, and he went down to the Basement where he was greeted by one of Satan's loyal followers. For the next half hour, the salesman was led through a tour of what appeared to be the best night clubs he'd ever seen. People were partying loudly, and having a, if you'll pardon the expression, Hell of a time.
When the tour ended, he was sent back up where the angel asked him if he had reached a final decision.
"Yes, I have," he replied. "As great as Heaven looks and all, I have to admit that Hell was more of my kind of place. I've decided to spend my eternity down there."
The salesman was sent to hell, where he was immediately thrown into a cave and was chained to a wall, and he was subjected to various tortures. "When I came down here for the tour," he yelled with anger and pain, "I was shown a whole bunch of bars and parties and other great stuff! What happened?!"
The devil replied, "Oh, that! That was just the Sales Demo."
|
|
|
Comments: 0 | Read or Post your comment | Rating: 0.00 based on 0 votes
|
-
|
A salesman was demonstrating unbreakable combs in a department store. He was impressing the people who stopped by to look by putting the comb through all sorts of torture and stress.
Finally to impress even the skeptics in the crowd, he bent the comb completely in half, and it snapped with a loud crack. Without missing a beat, he bravely held up both halves of the 'unbreakable' comb for everyone to see and said, "And this, ladies and gentlemen, is what an unbreakable comb looks like on the inside."
|
|
|
Comments: 0 | Read or Post your comment | Rating: 0.00 based on 0 votes
|
-
|
Two shoe salespeople were sent to Africa to open up new markets. Three days after arriving, one salesperson called the office and said, "I'm returning on the next flight. Can't sell shoes here. Everybody goes barefoot."
At the same time the other salesperson sent an email to the factory, telling "The prospects are unlimited. Nobody wears shoes here!"
|
|
|
Comments: 0 | Read or Post your comment | Rating: 0.00 based on 0 votes
|
-
|
Salesman: This computer will cut your workload by 50%.
Office Manager: That's great, I'll take two of them.
|
|
|
Comments: 0 | Read or Post your comment | Rating: 0.00 based on 0 votes
|
-
|
A software manager, a hardware manager, and a marketing manager are driving to a meeting when a tire blows. They get out of the car and look at the problem.
The software manager says, "I can't do anything about this - it's a hardware problem."
The hardware manager says, "Maybe if we turned the car off and on again, it would fix itself."
The marketing manager says, "Hey, 75% of it is working - let's ship it!"
|
|
|
Comments: 0 | Read or Post your comment | Rating: 0.00 based on 0 votes
|
-
|
A salesman who was out on his territory had a heart attack in his motel room and died. The motel manager called the salesman's company and related the tragedy to the sales manager.
The sales manager received the news in a nonchalant manner and told the motel manager, "Return his samples by freight and search his pants for orders."
|
|
|
Comments: 0 | Read or Post your comment | Rating: 0.00 based on 0 votes
|
-
|
How can you tell when a salesperson is lying?
His lips are moving.
|
|
|
Comments: 0 | Read or Post your comment | Rating: 0.00 based on 0 votes
|
Pages: 1 2 3 Next
All Categories:
|
