|
Pages: Prev 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 Next
-
|
Abraham wanted a new suit, so he bought a nice piece of cloth and then tried to locate a tailor. The first tailor he visited looked at the cloth and measured Abraham, then told him the cloth was not enough to make a suit.
Abraham was unhappy with this opinion and sought another tailor. This tailor measured Abraham, then measured the cloth, and then smiled and said, "There is enough cloth to make a pair of trousers, a coat and a vest, please come back in a week to take your suit."
After a week Abraham came to take his new suit, and saw the tailor's son wearing trousers made of the same cloth. Perplexed, he asked, "Just how could you make a full suit for me and trousers for your son, when the other tailor could not make a suit only?"
"It's very simple," replied the tailor, "The other tailor has two sons."
|
|
|
Comments: 0 | Read or Post your comment | Rating: 0.00 based on 0 votes
|
-
|
Andy wants a job as a signalman on the railways. He is told to meet the inspector at the signal box. The inspector puts this question to him: "What would you do if you realised that two trains were heading for each other on the same track?"
Andy says, "I would switch the points for one of the trains."
"What if the lever broke?" asked the inspector.
"Then I'd dash down out of the signal box," said Andy, "and I'd use the manual lever over there."
"What if that had been struck by lightning?"
"Then," Andy continues, "I'd run back into the signal box and phone the next signal box."
"What if the phone was engaged?"
"Well in that case," persevered Andy, "I'd rush down out of the box and use the public emergency phone at the level crossing up there."
"What if that was vandalised?"
"Oh well then I'd run into the village and get my uncle Silas."
This puzzles the inspector, so he asks, "Why would you do that?"
Came the answer, "Because he's never seen a train crash."
|
|
|
Comments: 0 | Read or Post your comment | Rating: 0.00 based on 0 votes
|
-
|
An archaeologist was digging in the Negev Desert in Israel and came upon a casket containing a mummy. After examining it, he called the curator of a prestigious natural-history museum. "I've just discovered a 3,000 year-old mummy of a man who died of heart failure!" the excited scientist exclaimed.
To which the curator replied, "Bring him in. We'll check it out." A week later, the amazed curator called the archaeologist. "You were right about the mummy's age and cause of death. How in the world did you know?"
"Easy. There was a piece of paper in his hand that said, '10,000 Shekels on Goliath'."
|
|
|
Comments: 0 | Read or Post your comment | Rating: 0.00 based on 0 votes
|
-
|
An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have: the older she gets, the more interested he is in her.
|
|
|
Comments: 0 | Read or Post your comment | Rating: 0.00 based on 0 votes
|
-
|
Those three boys are in the schoolyard bragging of how great their fathers are.
The first one says: "Well, my father runs the fastest. He can fire an arrow, and start to run, I tell you, he gets there before the arrow".
The second one says: "Ha! You think that's fast! My father is a hunter. He can shoot his gun and be there before the bullet".
The third one listens to the other two and shakes his head. He then says: "You two know nothing about fast. My father is a civil servant. He stops working at 4:30 and he is home by 3:45"!!
|
|
|
Comments: 0 | Read or Post your comment | Rating: 0.00 based on 0 votes
|
-
|
A graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?"
A graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"
A graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"
A graduate with a Law degree asks, "Who gave it a permission to work?"
A graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Would you like fries with that?"
|
|
|
Comments: 0 | Read or Post your comment | Rating: 0.00 based on 0 votes
|
-
|
Psychology is actually biology.
Biology is actually chemistry.
Chemistry is actually physics.
And physics is actually math.
|
|
|
Comments: 0 | Read or Post your comment | Rating: 0.00 based on 0 votes
|
-
|
Where to Publish Your Paper
If you understand it and can prove it, then send it to a journal of mathematics.
If you understand it, but can't prove it, then send it to a physics journal.
If you can't understand it, but can prove it, then send it to an economics journal.
If you can neither understand it nor prove it, then send it to a psychology journal.
|
|
|
Comments: 0 | Read or Post your comment | Rating: 0.00 based on 0 votes
|
-
|
A Marketing Manager got married to a woman who had previously been married eight times. On his wedding night, his wife informed him that she was still a virgin. This was her explanation:
- My first husband was a sales representative who spent our entire marriage telling me, in grandiose terms, "It's gonna be great"!
- My second husband was from software services; he was never quite sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he would send me the documentation.
- My third husband was an accountant. His comments were that he knew how, but he just wasn't sure whether or not it was his job.
- My fourth husband was a teacher, and he simply said, "Those who can...do; those who can't...teach".
- My fifth husband was an engineer. He told me that he understood the basic process but needed three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.
- My sixth husband was a psychiatrist and all he ever wanted to do was talk about it.
- My seventh husband was a help-desk coordinator and he kept teaching me how to do it myself.
- My eighth husband was in technical support, and he kept saying, " on't worry, it'll be up any minute now."
The wife said sweetly to her new husband, "Now I am married to you, a man of marketing". The husband looked at his wife and simply said, "I know I have the product, I'm just not sure how to position it".
|
|
|
Comments: 0 | Read or Post your comment | Rating: 5.00 based on 2 votes
|
-
|
A CEO has his business going well, but he's a bit worried. He decides to check the competence of his employees.
The first person he meets is his assistant:
- Oh Miss, I'd like to ask you just a quuestion. How much make 2+2 ?
- Yes Sir. Do you want a detailed memo oon that?
- No, just answer the question.
- Well, I think it's 4.
Then he goes to the computer tech:
- Hi John! Just a question. Can you telll me how much make 2+2 ?
John runs Excel, and after five minutes answers:
- It is 4.00 E+0, but I'm not sure, the support staff should come tomorrow. Will I ask them to check it?
Then he goes to the accountant:
- Hello mister, can you tell me how muchh make 2+2 ?
- Well, well, I know I'm late. I'm sorryy. I didn't already collect all the data, neither check all the accounts. But I can estimate it now between 3.196... and... let's say... 5.659. But I'll be able to make a much more accurate estimate within two weeks!
A bit disappointed, he goes to the sales manager:
- Hello Bob, could you tell me how much make 2+2 ?
- So... How much do you think it makes?
|
|
|
Comments: 0 | Read or Post your comment | Rating: 0.00 based on 0 votes
|
Pages: Prev 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 Next
All Categories:
|
