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When you go into court you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people that weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.
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Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
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When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their picket signs?
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Eat right. Stay fit. Die anyway.
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The things that come to those that wait may be the things left by those who got there first.
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Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat drinking beer all day.
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Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.
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Shin: A device for finding furniture in the dark.
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As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.
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When you're swimming in the creek, and an eel bites your cheek, that's a moray!
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